How To Get Your Poetry Published
· Don’t send out anything that you feel isn’t finished
· Don’t listen to men who talk about poetry and such
· Don’t anything
· Be happy
· Make Morgan cartwheel
· Do several back flips
· Dance crazily with your hands wrapped around your head for seventeen minutes and thirty three seconds
· Untie your shoelaces and tie them back up again
· Untie someone else’s shoelaces
· Listen to a song, then listen to it backwards
· Fly to the moon, then wave at Pluto on the way back
· Bake cookies… for Morgan
· Plant a tree… in the middle of a road
· Drive around a roundabout seven times before going back the way you came
· Undo all the screws on your kitchen table, then blame it on your brother
Now you are ready to bombard someone with your poetry. Annoy them as much as you can. Send 6972 pieces of poetry to everyone, regardless of what they publish. Pester them as much as possible. Set your publication goals really high and don’t settle for less. They will love you, and publish everything.
Why is Morgan the only one who gets baked cookies?
ReplyDeleteAnd what happens if you dance crazily with your hands wrapped around your head for seventeen minutes and thirty four seconds? I hope this doesn't affect your chances of getting poetry published.
Well you see Mel, if you bake ME cookies, your poetry will get published, it's just the way it goes.
ReplyDeleteIf Tegan was to bake YOU cookies, her poetry wouldn't get published now would it?
And if you want to get your poetry published, you MUST dance crazily with your hands wrapped around your head for exactly seventeen minutes and thirty four seconds. Sorry, but it must be done.
ReplyDelete